Monday blues

My network technology lab tutor indirectly called me hopeless today. Usually I'll just shriek and laugh it off, but I feel exceptionally demoralized today. I know I'm better than this in filtering comments but I don't know why I'm letting this rule my head tonight. I mean, who wants to be bad in something. I also want to be good at your module. Why am I the lousy student? Why can't you be the useless tutor? Why is it always my fault? I hate school. I hate NYP.

Confessions

I haven't studied for today's paper. At all. And I also haven't studied for tomorrow's paper too, not even the slightest bit.

School this semester has made me hate school like never before. It's like hate being brought up to another level. I don't even want to see books or anything related because it's just so... (finds word to fit).

I've kept all my lecture notes right from Y1S1 but 2 weeks back right after the RAD paper, I went home and threw all related materials away. This is how much I hate school. And today, right after the SEP paper, I will do the same, and this process will also repeat for Stats and IS.

I just can't wait to get my ass out of school. This is becoming so unbearable. I'm staring at my notes now, trying to start studying but here I am, typing this post out on my phone.

Oh well. All these is going to be over in less than 10 days. I don't want distinctions, I only want to pass.

Motivation

Exams are finally over and the past week has been one of the most stressful weeks I'd for a while. It wasn't much of the "exams are coming" kind of stress, but rather they're the kind of "I seriously don't know anything because I haven't been paying much attention in class" kind of stress and wanting to learn everything I've learnt for the past 8 weeks in just a week.

I know it's my fault for being that way, although I'd admit that I was really daydreaming for most of the math lectures. But I really paid attention for programming which I really understood nothing, and Mr Chai isn't much of a help though. But this is tertiary education and I can't do much about teachers not wanting to teach and having PMS all of a sudden for some godforsaken reason.

And after 1 week of intense mugging, I finally got my math somewhere up, with the help of Felicia who taught me a lot of math!!! She's a freaking genius I swear. And programming paper was....(finds word to insert) no comments. I really really hope to pass.

I have 6 more days before the new term starts, which equates more stress because it's when all the projects are due and I have many on hand which are undone (partly because they're group work and we're all busy during the holidays...excuses yes I know). And I'm someone who can't handle stress well.

I don't know why, I have more motivation in getting a really difficult piece on the piano rather than studying......I really wanna enjoy studying like how I really enjoy playing the piano. Sigh.

Okay abrupt ending my brain isn't function really well tonight.

School

School has thoroughly drained all my energy out of me.
The first thing I look forward to once I step out of the house is to go back home.
I've never been this tired before.
I need to sleep.
I want to sleep.

Rehab day 3

Pretty Karen: The person behind my awesome+fun+tiring rehab sessions.

Knee has 113 degree bend, and Karen said my knee is still slightly screwed...because it still cannot straighten fully. Le sigh. Need more improvements. Need to do my exercises even more. Gonna miss Karen for the next 3 months :(

School starts tomorrow, and I'm not ready for it. Because 1) I still cannot walk very well and SEG is so bloody far from the mrt. 2) We're all split into different classes. 3) I have no friends that's in the same class as me. 4) Tanliting has officially quit school and left me alone, hence I'm #foreveralone.

3 words can sum up about school: I.HATE.SCHOOL.

Results

I did so badly once again. Maybe I should just quit school and rot at home till I decide to do better. But then again, I should be grateful I've got no Fs in my grades because that means I do not have to re-module which means seeing my sucky tutors and lecturers once again which means I'm successfully promoted to year two!