3 years

3 years ago, today, on 23rd of December, my only wish for Christmas was to be able to (start) walking properly.

3 years later, my wishes for Christmas is to own many many many pairs of sky high heels and stilettos.

My dead knee turns three today. Happy deathsary my dear knee. I miss you, terribly. I miss my knee before injury. So badly.

But the next time I'd want to be wheeled in to an operating theatre would be when I've to give birth, nothing else. I miss you acl, do you hear me?

Doctor's Review

Review on the knee today with Prof and I was really turned off with him. He was desperately trying to say I'm fat and all his ACL patients are very fit and I was one of the very rare few "unfit" athletes. Prof, had your hospital reviewed me 3 year ago, I'd probably be as fit as all your other ACL patients too you know? Oh the joke's on me? Oops, I forgot to laugh.

Anyway he said my knee's in good shape but I think it really isn't :( Ambulation isn't good, there's still sharp pain when going against gravity, still lopsided when I run, but oh well, Prof has the last say aye?

Rehab day 11

I'm so tired I can die. 5mins of warm up cycling followed by 3mins + 7mins cycling (with some testing of strength of knee in between). 3 sets of 10 x quads + hamstring weights leg lift. I think my strength is improving! Oh yes. Maybe like by 1kg? Then 3 sets of 10 x double leg wall squats with the big ball. Then 3 sets of 10 x static lunges x both legs. And i died and went to rainbow heaven after that.

The pain

The pain of discipline

vs

The pain of disappointment.

I must make it a point to run (almost) everyday during the holidays. Maybe not the weekends and days when I have rehab.. :p I need to try. Need to do. Need to. Still can feel my leg being so so so weak. Weak. I don't want weak legs.

Rehab day 10

Single leg squats, hamstring & quads weights lift 12 x 3 sets, standing broad jump, high knee run x10 sets (nearly died while doing this!), staircase drill, 10 min run.

The(two)Rapists who make my rehab as deep as hell can bring me but amazingly fun!

Pretty meiyi with ugly me!

Karen in the uniform! this is going on my Polaroid wall! Pretty!

Rehab day 9

Zomg I'm actually penning this entry in the mrt on the way home. Rehab just ended, time check: 5.01pm.

I love weeks when I have rehab, at least I have something to look forward to during the week! :) Rehab was so so so tiring today I nearly died.

Started the session with 10 mins of cycling, followed by 10x single leg hop and squats.

Oh shit old age is catching up on me. I actually forgot what I did zzzzz.

Did hamstring and quads weight lift and I sucked at that terribly. I think I had no improvement.. And yaaaa I think I did 4 sets skipping, both forward and backwards. Then 4 sets of side steps also there and back.

Then I did leg lift (up to the hand, shoulder height), both straight and sidewards. Omgomgomg and I was literally dead after that.

Meiyi put me through the phone to Karen after rehab! Yay. She's coming back :)

Note to self: no running if knees hurt/ add in the leg lift (front and side) to daily exercises/ ice every day if possible

Love love rehab.

Rehab day 8

My knee's having a fever.
So apparently it's rather inflamed right now :(

Knee's been hurting so no weight bearing exercises for today!
Did weights for quads and hamstring, and my strength improved!
Didn't take note of the weights though..

Was talking about jobs and was asked by meiyi to do pt.
But there's no way I can do pt unless I go overseas :(
So meiyi suggested for me to do music therapy! :)
But I just checked it out... No school's offering art/music therapy for bachelor's degree.
Sigh..

Balanced on the air space thingy, then switched over to the foam board.
Threw balls while balancing on that, but I sucked at it cos I couldn't multitask.
Went up and down the steps for a while.
Then did 90 deg leg lift!
Then 10 minutes cycle which nearly killed me.

Was fun!
I love physio.
So much laughter and joy.

Rehab day 7

BY FAR THE MOST TORTUROUS REHAB SESSION IN HISTORY, MEIYI WAS INSANE TODAY I SWEAR.

Hahaha, it was tiring but still fun! So apparently I haven't been doing my squats properly so I had to change my posture.

24 dynamic lunges X 3 sets
Hamstring lift (L/R) 12 each X 3 sets
Quads lift (L/R) 12 each X 3 sets
Back leg lift 12 each X 3 sets
Single leg squats (L) 12 each X 3 sets

So far my leg strength is crazily weak, so I really really got to work on that. 60 pounds / 7 pounds (Quads x Hamstring) for left leg,
30 pounds / 1 pound for right leg.

The whole rehab center knows that I had hell rehab today, haha. But I'm so glad for all of these. So glad to be in paeds because my therapists wants me to get well more than I want myself. :) :) :) I'm thankful.

Virgin post op run

Decked in team canberra's jersey because i felt more motivated to run in it. Because I know they'll always have my back. ;)

Ran about 3 km and it took around 15-20 minutes. Not a lot, but I'm trying. Was tiring but am glad I managed to complete the distance without stopping! Knee's still very weak and I can really feel it but I will work on it. :)

Rehab day 3

Pretty Karen: The person behind my awesome+fun+tiring rehab sessions.

Knee has 113 degree bend, and Karen said my knee is still slightly screwed...because it still cannot straighten fully. Le sigh. Need more improvements. Need to do my exercises even more. Gonna miss Karen for the next 3 months :(

School starts tomorrow, and I'm not ready for it. Because 1) I still cannot walk very well and SEG is so bloody far from the mrt. 2) We're all split into different classes. 3) I have no friends that's in the same class as me. 4) Tanliting has officially quit school and left me alone, hence I'm #foreveralone.

3 words can sum up about school: I.HATE.SCHOOL.

Rehab day one

Back from rehab, I don't know why I'm so tired. On a happy note, my knee has a 80 degree bend already! And my brace has been changed from 0 to 30 degrees! Totally can't wait for the day where I'll be able to walk without any assistance.

Fell down so many times today but so glad Karen was there to support me, she was holding my pants and supporting my hips as I was 'learning' to walk. Ah I'm so tired... But I'm so glad my knee is getting better! :)

Am always pretty hyped up when I talk about the things I love! I've been loving my new knee and I love rehab so I've been talking about this for the past few days! :) Okay I'm off to supre to do some retail therapy! :)

Happy girl!

My parcel from Supre has arrived! So satisfied with their service, it's so efficient! It's only been three days since I sent in my order! I love it when my parcels arrive and I'm going to get *ahem* more *ahem* clothes ;p

And on a happy note, Karen and Mae called me to tell me they're seeing me for rehab! I was complaining my ass off to Karen about how unhappy I was because they removed me from peads and placed in sports rehab instead and she called me this morning saying, "You're seeing me for rehab tomorrow!" Hahaha omg words cannot express how happy I was till I cannot sleep anymore omg. I really don't know what I'd do without them both :')

Bad sorcery

So many times I've broken down in room 8, so many times. So many times I questioned myself whether this injury was worth it, or not. So many times, so many times, Karen was there.

And yet this kind of a bad sorcery is happening. I wish I didn't get attached to people so easily..

It's been a week

I'm still on crutches, and walking on crutches feels like a full body cardio workout, because it's just so tiring.. Can't wait for the day where I can walk without them already.