piano mock exam

Once again.

I screwed it up. I screwed up my scales, I played the wrong scales, I hit the wrong notes, my fingers didn't match each other and I could say nothing but I screwed up. The examiner (my principal) was so nice to let me play the scales again. It was another 4 octaves of nonsense.

 My fingers twisted in Variation 4 of Air and Variations in E, I couldn't find the notes and I just stopped playing. It took a while to restore my confidence to start playing variation 5. That must have took a fair bit of my marks away. Principal said my waltz was a mess, it didn't sound like a dance at all. Tempi was off all the way, and it needed a lot of improvement. Blue Air was okay, but it needed more colour. But I tried to make the dynamic contrast sound the best I can, but it wasn't enough....

Song of Love was alright, until I screwed Strides for the exercises. Sight reading was shit I can't even find the words to describe it. I hope aural is okay enough to salvage my score.

Principal was nice enough to go through what sucked in my pieces and gave me pointers to improve on my playing. I mean, she literally went through each score and told me what was bad (not good). I guess I needed that, criticism from a third party's point of view. The most genuine ones. And I took it positively, even though I didn't feel good. But it was necessary, she wasn't looking down on me, she was trying to help me. I know. She told me to work harder.

But she doesn't know the amount of effort I put into practicing just for the upcoming exam. The amount of time I sacrifice from my sleep just to practice - only to go to school looking like a zombie. I guess, it's not enough. I HAVE to work harder. I will. I will not disappoint.

Baby Arthur!

I carried a baby for the first time in my life.
Hello baby Arthur, I hope you'll grow up to be a happy child. Because that's what's most important.

X

19

Birthday celebration at Timbre @ the Substation with the girls. I mean, look at that smile on my face. I was nothing but happiest that night.

Pms

I hate pms. I flare up so easily and snap at people at the slightest reason. But I have no control over my emotions. I don't like it.

Happy birthday Meiyi

Thank you for being more than a physiotherapist. Thank you for being my friend. For listening, for nagging and everything. My knee and I wouldn't be what I am today if not for you. Love ya deep deep. /hugs

I love my job

Nathen confessed to Zhijun today and Zhijun confessed back. It was such a cute scene :)

Sometimes I drag my feet to work, but when I see my kids smile and say, "yay teacher apryl, you're here today are you taking our class?" Makes it all worthwhile.

Okay but not fine at all

You know, as much as I tell myself that I've moved on from Netball and the injury, there are some times (like this) when I actually sit down, and fall into self pity on how I got injured and didn't play zonals.

I mean, I've -finally- got over everything, yes. But there're times like this when I just recall everything and I just miss playing Netball. I do not want to actually play it now competitively, but I wish I was there playing when others were. It has become this emptiness that resides in me and it will never be filled in because all there is now, are unfulfilled regrets.

I'm okay, really.